Gods and Generals Part II: "The Kobayashi Muru"

“How we deal with death is as least as important as how we deal with life”
~Admiral James T Kirk.

It is called the Kobayashi Muru. In the Star Trek universe, it is the ultimate test of character, a no win scenario designed to test ones reaction to an unwinnable problem, creative thinking and ultimately how one deals with winning and losing. The Kobayashi Muru was the last test a cadet took before graduating Starfleet and was look at with the most serious of eyes. Here Wikipedia offers a concise definition of what the test entails:

In this final exam a cadet is faced with a decision:
• Attempt to rescue the Kobayashi's crew and passengers, which involves violating the Neutral Zone and potentially provoking the Klingons into hostile action or an all-out war; or
• Abandon the Kobayashi, potentially preventing war but leaving the crew and passengers to die.

If the cadet chooses to save the Kobayashi, the scenario progresses quickly. The bridge officers notify the cadet that they are in violation of the treaty, which is duly noted in the log. As the starship enters the Neutral Zone, the communications officer loses contact with the crippled vessel. Klingon starships then appear on an intercept course. Attempts to contact them are met with radio silence; indeed, their only response is to open fire, with devastating results. There is no way to win the resulting battle, especially as the computer is allowed to "cheat" to guarantee victory; the simulation ends with the understanding that the cadet's ship has been lost with all hands. The objective of the test is not for the cadet to outfight the opponent, but rather to test the cadet's behavior and thought processes in the face of insurmountable odds or circumstances.

I’ve always been fascinated by the notion of a Kobayashi Muru; in fact most sci fi nerds and fans still use it as a phrase to describe a fucked up situation. I know I do. But more important it fascinated me because I have two flaws that really make me an interesting character:

I don’t handle fear well

AND

I hate losing.

And right now, this AM I have both of those emotions.

Right now I’m trying to build an institution, trying to make it do what it do as Ray Charles would say, yet fear of losing (how’s that for a combo) is clouding my thought process. Sometimes I wonder, with all of the ghosts around am I engaged in a Kobayashi Muru, because the more I sit and think the more I am wondering if failure is what awaits me at the end of the tunnel.

Fear of losing. Man those compound emotions suck.

But here’s the catch to the Kobayashi Muru. You had to do something. Not responding or not acting wasn’t an option, you either helped or you didn’t. There no ignore option or change your mind option.

Love is like politics and politics is war. Therefore, love is war. It’s almost funny when you think about it; the notion that in love there can be a Kobayashi Muru.

It’s scary.

But like the cadets of the academy, I must take this exam. I must see where this goes. My love is real and my dedication is real and even if I lose I must be able to say I gave it my best.

But who the fuck wants to lose? Or even ponder it.

I wonder if I can alter this test like Admiral Kirk did.

Nah, unfortunately I can’t. However I can be brave in the face of all this.

What more can I do…

“Helmsman make course for the neutral zone and the Kobayashi Muru”

Straight, No Chaser.

TLT
11-26-2008
11:45pm