The Longzhong Plan: Parable, Prophesy or just a great story.

Author's Note: The following story and characters is taken from one of my all time favorte books Romance of the Three Kingdoms; the actual text comes from the introduction of the book "Mastering the Art of War" by Thomas Cleary. As the title suggests I think it to be a parable, possibly a prophesy, and a just a damn good read. What you think it means I live up to you. I will simply use the words of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and say "whoever has ears, let them hear" ~TLT

In the spring of 208, member of the imperial family of the Han Dynasty and virtuous warrior Liu Bei, was on the cusp of total defeat. Although he was in command of three of nations strongest and cunning warriors: Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, and Zhao Yun, he lacked a strategist who could rival the wiles of Tsao Tsao, his arch enemy.

Acting upon the advice of an former subject, Liu Bei and his sworn brothers, Guan Yu and Zhange Fei, went to visit the Hidden Dragon, Zhuge Liang. Liu Bei was advised that Zhuge Liang was a mind unrivaled under heaven and would alter his fortunes. (As a side note he was also advised to seek out The Fledgling Phoenix, Pang Tong, should Zhuge Liang been unwilling to serve. Tong was seen as Liang's equal of sorts.)

After seeking out the reclusive genius three times, Liu Bei was finally given an audience. After sitting down Liu Bei said to Zhuge Liang "The house of Han is collapsing; treacherous officials are usurping authority; the emperor is blinded by the dust.” The warrior lord went on to solicit Zhuge’s advice.

In response, Zhuge Liang told Liu Bei the following:

“Ever since the beginning of the current power struggle for what is left of the Han empire, many prefectures and districts have been taken over by such men. If you compare current contenders for national power, one of them - the notorious Tsao Tsao was once an unknown with a small force, yet he was able to overcome another warlord with a much large following. The reason the weaker was able to prevail over the stronger is not simply a matter of celestial timing, but also of human planning. Tsao Tsao now has a million followers; he controls the emperor and gives orders to the lords - he can not really be opposed.”

“Another warlord, in control of the area east of the river, is already
the third generation hegemon there. The territory is rugged and the
people are loyal to him; the intelligent and capable serve in his
employ. He would be a suitable ally, but he cannot be counted on”

“Here there is ease of communications and transport. It is a land
suitable for military operations. If its ruler cannot keep it this
would seem to be a boon to a general. Do you have any interest in it?
To the southwest are precipitous natural barriers beyond which lie
vast fertile plains. That land is called the heavenly precinct, and it
is where the Han dynasty really began.”

“Now the governor of that region is ignorant and weak. To the north is the stronghold of the independent Taoist cult of Celestial Masters. The people are robust and the land is rich, but they do not know how to take care of it. Men of knowledge and ability want to find an
enlightened leader.”

“General, you are a descendant of the imperial family, and are known everywhere for integrity and justice. You gather heroic men and eagerly seek the wise. If you occupy this whole region, guard the crags and defiles, establish good relations with the foreign tribes to
the west and south, make friends with the warlord east of the river, and work to perfect internal organization, then when there is a upheaval in the total political situation and you mobilize your armies, the common people will surely welcome you with food and drink. If you can really do this, hegemony can be established, and the house of Han can be revived.”

Liu Bei agreed, and it turned out as planned.

Zhuge Liang became his top strategists.

Giving honor to my Creator (who is forever praised AMEN)

In Truth and Transparency,

Straight, No Chaser
TLT
8-18-2010
12:10pm

Reflections on Zhuge Liang and Wei Yan: Two guys in a lunatic asylum

"(S)He was a powerful general..."~Raekwon

"Insanity:doing the same thing over and over again and
expecting different results."~Albert Einstein

I lost recently lost a friend. Our season (I believe) has finally ended.

Actually she was more than a friend to me if I can be totally honest, although I don't think she quite discerned that. After a very polemic four year dynamic, the last year full of non stop stress, our foundation finally collapsed. I guess this is the resolution I prayed for having taken the matter to the alter a number of times and earnestly asking God to either resolve our conflict or remove her from my life. I believe he did the latter based on what I am sure were mutual prayers: he ended our season. Of course being humans we compounded this sad moment with words that were straight up evil. I guess then it is as it should be.

So why do I feel like total crap today?

I'll be the first to admit that the dynamic between myself and Wei Yan was far from perfect. We both have committed acts towards each other that would make the U.S. and Al Queda beef seem mild by comparison. I know I have used this woman to further my agenda, I've thrown her under the bus, pulled her in front of a bullet for two for me, actively sought to replace her on numerous occasions in the rudest of manner, I used her for my own needs, at times disregarded hers and didn't always defend her to my most loved ones. Conversely, she has to be one of the single biggest reasons I've lost serious creditability in some circles, namely with T.G.S. during a most critical time last year. She slept with one of my boys, tried to whack me at least twice and during the LSC and DOF joined with the chorus of others that laughed, mocked and danced on my (or so they thought) grave. My closest brother hated her, most of my friends hated her, and at times I hated her. Even as I write this down I have all the reasons right here to be glad this season is over.

So why do I feel like total crap today?

T.G.S. once referred to situations like this as "the bullsheet you know". My Chief of Staff likened my dynamic to an addiction, and my late mother who liked her a lot often worried about our gross dysfunction. It all made sense when I swore for the last time she would tell me to "die" and I would still talk to her. I swore that I would let her ultimatum deadline pass without a word, say my goodbyes and allow her to test the free agent market. I felt good doing it.

But over the weekend I got to remembering the good times, the times where we laughed. The times where we both held each other and discussed the world. I remembered how she helped make the 30th conference a success. I remember how when I gave my luncheon presentation she was the first person to greet me as I collapsed in her arms, tearful that my father couldn't see me shine. I remembered her helping me get to wal-mart to get my dying father what he needed, then begging me to make peace with him before he died (I did and I am thankful for that). I thought of our romantic moments. I thought (and still think) of her children, esp number #3 that I adore as my own. I reflected on how she often worried about my sons and my mother; I remember her checking on the Queen mother often more than I did. I remember all of those things that made us happy and I weigh what good against was bad and I get....

Zero. -100+100=0. I can't fudge the numbers even if I wanted to.

It balances out. It is zero. Our evil equally matches our good and I am not sure that is love. Or if it is love I don't know what that means. I told a dear friend just Friday that I believe strongly in the comparative analysis in situations like this and the question of "why we couldn't get it done in four years" is valid esp when I was thisclose to marrying somebody else in a matter of months. What where we lacking, could we ever obtain it and would the scales ever balance out. I do believe Wei Yan to be a great woman, a beautiful mother and a gentle soul. I am not sure I brought those qualities out in her any more than she brought out the best in me. Elkketia, despite being her one voice of support in my space often said "TLT, yall season is over. Both of you just are keeping it on life support. Only God can save it now." I felt this was right on....

but
today
I feel
like crap.

In church this morning my Pastor talked about the devil using our insecurities to make us second guess God's blessing and decisions. The devil plants these seeds in our head, makes us wanna back track to what we left; we do so then disqualify ourselves from our blessings. He makes us leave too soon or too late and before we know it we've committed spiritual suicide. If this is the resolution that has been set before me based on at least my prayers for an answer, I can't disqualify myself going backwards. I can't allow harsh words on the Internet likening us "to watching paint dry" or "a waste of time and life" to make me feel like I did something wrong. Yall, I tried a million different ways from Sunday to make this work, and neither of us could agree on terms that were "fair market value". It would have been the easy path, the wide road to just settle and I just couldn't; I firmly believe the wide path leads to destruction and settling leads to sinking and after four years our scales equal zero. I know Pastor was correct. I can't second guess this. Still this reminds me of a joke:

See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night... one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they’re going to escape! So like they get up on to the roof, and there, just across the narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now the first guy he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend daren't make the leap. Y'see he's afraid of falling... So then the first guy has an idea. He says "Hey! I have my flash light with me. I will shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk across the beam and join me." But, the second guy just shakes his head. He says... he says "What do you think I am, crazy? You would turn it off when I was half way across."~Joker The Killing Joke 1988

Did I seriously just use a joke from a graphic novel between two mortal enemies to describe this dynamic? My mother would say the proof is in the pudding, right there an answer reveled. Indeed we are mirror images and that might have been the single biggest reason to walk on by(e). It's even scarier when I can find "us" in both historical and fictional dysfunctional dynamics. We're Batman and Joker, Zhuge and Wei Yan, MacArthur and Truman, David and Michal, I mean come on..geesh. That says a lot. A whole lot. And going back to the earlier point: the numbers don't lie. We balanced out...right back to point A.

*pause*
Before I continue, I would like to take this moment to announce the elimination of the S5 position. It has caused more problems that what it is worth; it leads to complex dynamics and it was this position's "ease" that enabled us to lie to each other about what we wanted and agree to a contract that was bullcrap. That initial lie sowed seeds were weren't ready to reap. At 35, I have no need for anything below an S3. It is time to retire and retire that God awful position.

*play*

Perhaps this is the devil trying to get me to move out of my place, get us to move out of our place and disqualify ourselves. If her words are true and she prayed for a resolution as I did then I can only have faith that this is it. I will not second guess God. These feeling of crap will subside. If not I will simply take it to my elders allow their guidance to help me deal (Jas 5:14).

Now, as painful as it is, or as confused as I may be, I can only say:

"I wish you the best in your future endeavors. I.Wil never forget you."

But today....

Giving honor to my Creator (who is forever praised, Amen)

In Truth and Transparency,

Straight, No Chaser
TLT
8-15-2010
7:50pm

Revolutions and Rotations: Broken then Healed

"God can heal, He can deliver.
He can mend your brokenness.
He has a miracle to fit your needs,
once you trust Him, you will receive."
~Broken, But Healed by Byron Cage

Today is August 10th and it my 35th birthday.

I have survived and grown another year.

Like the past five birthdays, this one comes after a major tragedy: the death of my beloved Queen Mother Tony Thomas. Her untimely passing on the 4th of July has left this something of a solemn birthday; she not being here physically to celebrate 35 years of life, love and friendship does kill my mood just a bit.

Comparatively speaking, as unjust, unfair, and down right horrid as the "LSC" and "DOF" was, losing my Queen Mother is far worse. Despite my best efforts, NO words can accurately give life to this lost (and honestly I don't want you to know how this feels). However, unlike the aforementioned tragedy (and the birthdays that followed), I am NOW equipped with something I never had (or rather never thought to use): belief in God and faith in the promises set forth in his word. In this season of EARNESTLY putting God first and trying to live right, I am becoming "fully competent, completely equipped to handle every good work (2 Timothy 3:17 NWT)." For the first time since my 29th birthday, I woke up feeling blessed. I will continue to smile and thank Jehovah (Yahweh) for another year and press towards the mark of the high calling (Philippians 3:14 KJV).

Despite feeling blessed, I woke up with thankful tears in my eyes that God delivered me from myself, from the machinations of the devil, and the swamp of despond. I think back, with a bit of shame, to where I was emotionally and mentally last year: drunk, vulgar, angry at the world for an injustice done to me, giving lip service to God but with no real dedication, crying over one woman who didn't want me and seeking comfort in the arms of another woman who I had no business with nor should have used like that. What a wretched man I was; though I am still far from perfect.

I am under no illusions that my change was through the power of Holy Spirit and the grace of God alone. As I stated many times (and you all agreed) I am a highly intelligent brother, full of perseverance, full of honor, and full of strength. Yet under my own...whatever, I was unable to tap into anything in my repertoire to overcome the challenges before me. I was powerless. But, as the Apostle Paul writes, at just the right time when I was powerless, God stepped in, healed my mind and heart then guided my steps to him; God has given me all what I need to get up and press forward, and if I continue to seek Him first then He will give me what I need to conquer so much more (Matt 6:33 TNIV).

But now, on this my 35th birthday, I will go visit my mother's grave and lay flowers. I will hug, kiss and play with my sons. I will go to church and praise the Lord for all he has done for me: He kept me from sinking. Instead of a vulgar party I can barely afford, being drunk and full of bitterness or any of that other stuff, I will spend my 35th birthday surrounded by the things and people of God, behaving in a manner of a man who is walking in the spirit (Galatians 5:22 TNIV).

I can not predict or even stop challenges from happening in my life. I can and will however be responsible for how I respond. I am decreeing in this season of change that last year was the last time I will spend the day of my birth in mourning, angry, a drunkard, or even bitter over the wrongs I have been dealt. From this year on, no matter the challenges that come prior, on this day I will celebrate family, love, life, and most importantly I will Bless the Lord.

Byron Cage was so on point with his song. He CAN mend your (and mine) brokenness..once you trust him you WILL receive.

I love progress. Now, if he finds me worthy, I hope next year I am blessed with a wife to spend this day with. I have faith that he will.

Giving honor to my Creator (who is FOREVER praised Amen) for the lessons learned, meanings made and healing experienced this year.

In Truth and Transparency,

Straight, NO Chaser
TLT
8-10-2010
8:15am