I wonder

“The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry”~ Robert Burns


I wonder if the Prime Minister felt a rush of jubilation and victory as he watched the Wei army burn at Bo Wang Po. I wonder if his mind thought of the end game and how he could make a brand new world.

I wonder if the Prime Minister felt a tingle of invincibility as he called forth the wind and watched the Wei ships burn at Chi Bi. To know you can do a thing and then do it is an amazing feat and I often wonder if he felt that the world was his.

I wonder how he felt watching all he worked for be set back by others mistakes and arrogance: watching Guan Yu lose the Jiang Province, watching his lord and emperor destroy everything including himself on a foolish assault and then being tasked with fixing it all.

I wonder what went thought the Prime Minister’s mind when Ma Su disobeyed at Jieting. I wonder if he at that moment realized that he was surrounded by lesser men and had to do it all by himself.

I wonder what went through his mind as he played his zither while facing Sima Yi’s army down. Did he feel a moment of possibilities? Did he feel overwhelmed or was he simply trying to re-assess the situation?

I wonder if this is how the Prime Minster felt at the Shang Fang valley as the rain began. I wonder what went through his mind as the heavens opened up and dashed his best laid plans

Did he feel rejected? Did he accept his fate? Or did he resolve to try harder.

I wonder what went through the Prime Minster’s mind when Wei Yan rushed through the tent and put out his candle. I’ve often wondered why he didn’t let Jiang Wei kill Wei Yan.

I wonder what went through the Prime Minister’s mind as he lay dying at the Wu Zhang Plains. I wonder if he thought back to all those good times when he seemed invincible and the world was his. Was there regret? Was there suffering? Or was he simply accepting of his fate.

I wonder, because I’ve experience all three in a matter of months. The early victories of Bo Wan Po and Chibi; the frustrations of Jietiang and Shang Fang Valley; watching my candle of hope dashed by outside forces; and ultimately waiting on fate to issue its final verdict. Indeed I understand the Prime Minister.

Yet, I have no idea how to stop it. I just know things will simply play as they must.

In the meanwhile, I will enjoy and pray in the rain.

Straight, No Chaser
TLT
12-21-08