The 2010 Retrospective: An Old Dog Learning New Tricks

"Yall must've forgot!"~Roy Jones Jr.
"Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years."~LL Cool Jr.

Let's get the most obvious out the way: 2010 will be defined by the death of my beloved Queen Mother, Maria "Tony" Thomas. She was my best friend, strongest ally, most trusted confidant and head of the council of ten. Queen mother was the one person in the universe (other than COS) who truly understood how my brain worked and what made me tick. Her death forced me to rethink my priorities, spirituality, heirs future, personal goals and political thought on a level never before in my life (and that says a lot because I am very introspective); moreover it was done through a new lens: The eyes of a saved man. Though six months later, there really are no words I can come up with to describe the loss of my family's Moses. I just press forward with zeal and faith I will see her and my father again.

2010 saw me heal with both sides of my family. In a strange way Queen mom's passing forced me to bury old issues. Unnecessary beef is more cows to breed and so it was time to mend those rifts.

2010 was also the year my Spiritual Father, Pastor Gene Olison make his transition to Glory. I admit that my time with Pastor Olison was short, yet it was as profound as any instruction I have ever received from any mentor. For a moment I was sad and regretful that I will be unable to continue to learn from him. Then it was revealed to me that I all needed from him was imparted during our time together. Moreover, he has left a powerful legacy to continue his work: His wife and my new Pastor, the body of Elders, and the 2010 MVP Chief Olison. When I also factor in both of my brothers are Reverends and men of God I think my training will continue just fine. Thus at the very least, regret is removed from the equation. Moreover, if I am filled with uber regret and sadness how will I be able to keep my promise to my COS and her family and be there for them.

2010 saw all of my heirs continue to grow as fine young Christian men and continue to receive lessons in manhood training. I love them all and will do anything to ensure their success. No more needs to be said about that.

2010 will rank up there as one of the most challenging YET blessed years of my life; a continuation of my growth and development. The major difference between 2010 and some of those other years where there were challenges is that I now see myself in a different light. The jaded angry cynic really was clichéd needed to die. Life is meant to be enjoyed. I need to love God and love people. Most importantly I have an unshakable faith in God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. With that faith alone, I can conquer mountains.

In 2009 I started what I thought was a dream career with CPS. In 2010 it saw me practically begging God for a release from that place, and he granted my prayer via a layoff. Prior to my mom's death I was starting to realize the super radical, gotta spend my whole day fighting for liberation, pro Black, debating ever issue TLT was leaving, jaded with the movement, its redundant nature and a whole mess of other stuff. Now definitely after her death that man is gone and in his place is a more somber, spiritual minded dude who simply wants to live by Isisah 58 when it comes to dealing with the issues of society.

2010 saw me end old alliances. I will never forget what we shared, and might even make the special occasion cameo but I do think, at least for this season, I need to be with folks who are more accepting of my walk with Christ. It's business, (My Father's) and not personal.

Most importantly, 2010 saw me rededicate my life to Christ, get serious about my faith, my Word, my religion and truly change my life. I gave up drinking, lewd behavior and in case you ain't noticed there hasn't been one cuss word in my blogs in quite some time.

After the love related fiasco of 2009 (a year in which I fought on a lie in one dynamic and fought against an innocent woman in the other) I can say 2010 showed me the importance of seeking the God and listening to his word and the people he put into my space. While I still want to be married I am no longer going to ignore obvious shenanigans or engage in unhealthy banter/behavior/dynamics. I will find my Deborah if I remain obedient and stay in position.

In 2009 I was pushed to my limits spiritually, mentally and emotionally; I barely was able to answer the bell to carry on and many of the challenges I faced I failed utterly. I crawled into 2010 a beaten man. But as Pastor used to say "Failure ain't final." I made one heck of a comeback and in this wilderness season, I showed not only did this solider had a few more tricks up his sleeve, but he remembered some old ones as well.

Those seeds of hope and faith (as well as my heirs) are growing along just nice. I won't have to be in this wilderness much longer.

The line is moving.

I am so ready for the next round. *ding, ding*

Giving Honor to my Creator who is forever praised, Amen.

In Truth and Transparency,
Straight, No Chaser
TLT
12-30-2010
4:15am