"If you don't know your past then you don't know your future" ~Malcolm X
In the aftermath of the "Love Supreme Crisis", (well rather in the aftermath of the more brutal parts of the storm) one of the more complicated problems presently is what to do with all of this emotional baggage and scars I have acquired, some of them red badges of courage and some of them scars of shame, but all of them very real to my existence and affirmation that I have grown immensely and that Jehovah has helped me through.
As I continue to make sense of that/this trying period and categorize memories and lessons, one of the constant piece of advise I keep getting is "leave it in the past" or "its all in the past. It doesn't matter." All good pieces of advise on the surface except for one small nagging reality:
The past is directly related to the present. To be more accurate the time line of past, present and future are interconnected. It can't be ignored, buried, hidden, lied about, altered, put behind you or any of that other nonsense we like to spew in this lovely post modern age.
It is amazing that the primary proponents of this nonsense philosophy, The Black Community gains its very strength by embracing our victories of the past as evidence of future triumphs. I mean isn't that in our national anthem: "Full of the faith that the dark past has taught us"?
I mean if the past doesn't matter why do we take pride in our college degrees, credit scores, personal victories, or career accomplishments. If the past doesn't matter then why do we want to know about the lives and past habits of our leaders, both secular and religious, as a measuring stick of their ability to lead us or govern us. If the past doesn't matter why do we even bother with resumes? Or why do employers, financial institutions and the judicial system all keep tabs on what was done as a gauge as to what we will do with sometimes eerie accuracy? If the past didn't matter why then do we always teach the story of God's deliverance of Israel and Christ's sacrifice since it happened so long ago? Why do we want reparations? Or have an on going civil and human rights movement? Or why did we cry so hard when Obama won the Presidency?
Let's kick this up a notch shall we? Why do we keep a sex offender registry? Why do parents check their area zip codes to find out where these people live? I mean would any of us live in a building with a convicted rapist, repeat offender or not? Would you let such a person babysit for you? Or send your child to their day care? I mean didn't these people pay their debt to society? It is in their past right? Why worry about it?
Right....as I thought. So the whole "the past doesn't matter" "let us never speak of it again" "get over it" concept when placed against a scale of logic and reason is well...bullshit. In fact Bill Cosby can sum my response best when faced with such faulty logic:
"The dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life"
Thank you Cosby Show for that lesson to grow on...moving on.
The past has helped us become who we are, and it is sometimes a great indicator of what we will become. I concede that there are times where people and institutions can change for the better or for the worse; indeed Saul become the Apostle Paul, Detroit Red became Malcolm X, and Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader. But in those changes each on of those men didn't deny who they were, in fact they never could really escape it. They did however us that as steam to live a better life or leave a legacy that would erase the mistakes of the past. Not deny the past, not ignore the past, but try to correct the past.
I think this a big part of why our community is so stagnant. We've forgotten our past, we're embarrassed by our past, we've downplayed our past, and we no longer appreciate our past because of a few present triumphs...and some old "embarrassments". But look at the Muslim Community, The Jewish Community and the Latino Community. They embrace their past, both as individuals and as a group: that is why they are strong and we are no longer, well one of the reasons. But that's a convo for another day.
It's the refusal to discuss the past, to deal with the past that is a major stumbling block in several of my interpersonal relationships. Wei Yan can't accept that part of the file review is bringing up old sins as they compare to current heroics to see (as humanly possible) what the future will bring. It's a stumbling block in my attempts to save my friendship with (the) Queen I believe, an "it's all the in past and I'll leave you there" concept which caries a certain sense of irony. In this Duel of the Fates, both of these examples show me that we really don't understand the importance of reconciling our past, to hold strong to our present which will ensure victory in the future. Sun Tzu said in the Art of War that one must know himself and his enemy to be victorious; this just doesn't include present actions but rather past behaviors...factored in with present behaviors and the probability for change.
I laugh now when people tell me that I should put the "Love Supreme Crisis" behind me. It makes me giggle when I am told to get over it. I hear Dr. Huxtable's line to Theo in my head: "The dumbest thing I've heard in my life". I mean really people telling me that the past 90 plus days, which was the Love Supreme Crisis (a moment in time that redefined me and changed how I think as well as altered my way of life) is in the past and I should get over it is akin to telling residents of New York that 9-11 was in the past or telling the Black residents of New Orleans to get over the legacy of Hurricane Katrina. If you said that to a resident of New York or New Orleans you probably would get cussed out or punched in the mouth. Maybe both.
In the Da Vinci code Robert Langston points out that "nobody hates history, they just hate their own history". I think this is valid. That's why so many people want to bury it or hide it or ignore it. But it just can not be done. I can never take back that moment on the porch, an example of me in extreme weakness. I can only embrace that moment, not hide from it, and use keep the scar as a reminder of what not to do next time. Am I ashamed? Yes. But it did happen. It has helped redefine me. The events in the Summer of 2008 did happen. No amount of revisionist history will change that. It has to be dealt with, addressed, reconciled and moved on. "Let us never speak on this again" only works on The Simpsons, not in real life.
As I begin this inevitable Duel of Fates, I understand the Past will be Prologue. I accept this willingly.
Because those who don't know their past, acknowledge their past and ultimately learn from their past are doomed, with out question to repeat it. You will never know yourself, nor your enemy and that will lead to failure...
And failure is not an option..
Straight, No Chaser
TLT
7-15-2009
3:35pm
The past has helped us become who we are, and it is sometimes a great indicator of what we will become. I concede that there are times where people and institutions can change for the better or for the worse; indeed Saul become the Apostle Paul, Detroit Red became Malcolm X, and Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader. But in those changes each on of those men didn't deny who they were, in fact they never could really escape it. They did however us that as steam to live a better life or leave a legacy that would erase the mistakes of the past. Not deny the past, not ignore the past, but try to correct the past.
I think this a big part of why our community is so stagnant. We've forgotten our past, we're embarrassed by our past, we've downplayed our past, and we no longer appreciate our past because of a few present triumphs...and some old "embarrassments". But look at the Muslim Community, The Jewish Community and the Latino Community. They embrace their past, both as individuals and as a group: that is why they are strong and we are no longer, well one of the reasons. But that's a convo for another day.
It's the refusal to discuss the past, to deal with the past that is a major stumbling block in several of my interpersonal relationships. Wei Yan can't accept that part of the file review is bringing up old sins as they compare to current heroics to see (as humanly possible) what the future will bring. It's a stumbling block in my attempts to save my friendship with (the) Queen I believe, an "it's all the in past and I'll leave you there" concept which caries a certain sense of irony. In this Duel of the Fates, both of these examples show me that we really don't understand the importance of reconciling our past, to hold strong to our present which will ensure victory in the future. Sun Tzu said in the Art of War that one must know himself and his enemy to be victorious; this just doesn't include present actions but rather past behaviors...factored in with present behaviors and the probability for change.
I laugh now when people tell me that I should put the "Love Supreme Crisis" behind me. It makes me giggle when I am told to get over it. I hear Dr. Huxtable's line to Theo in my head: "The dumbest thing I've heard in my life". I mean really people telling me that the past 90 plus days, which was the Love Supreme Crisis (a moment in time that redefined me and changed how I think as well as altered my way of life) is in the past and I should get over it is akin to telling residents of New York that 9-11 was in the past or telling the Black residents of New Orleans to get over the legacy of Hurricane Katrina. If you said that to a resident of New York or New Orleans you probably would get cussed out or punched in the mouth. Maybe both.
In the Da Vinci code Robert Langston points out that "nobody hates history, they just hate their own history". I think this is valid. That's why so many people want to bury it or hide it or ignore it. But it just can not be done. I can never take back that moment on the porch, an example of me in extreme weakness. I can only embrace that moment, not hide from it, and use keep the scar as a reminder of what not to do next time. Am I ashamed? Yes. But it did happen. It has helped redefine me. The events in the Summer of 2008 did happen. No amount of revisionist history will change that. It has to be dealt with, addressed, reconciled and moved on. "Let us never speak on this again" only works on The Simpsons, not in real life.
As I begin this inevitable Duel of Fates, I understand the Past will be Prologue. I accept this willingly.
Because those who don't know their past, acknowledge their past and ultimately learn from their past are doomed, with out question to repeat it. You will never know yourself, nor your enemy and that will lead to failure...
And failure is not an option..
Straight, No Chaser
TLT
7-15-2009
3:35pm
1 comment:
There is a lot to address in this piece. It was, as usual, real and heartfelt. But I must caution you that while learning from the past is important, there comes a time when everyone will wish to be judged on their own present merits rather than on the events of your past, their past, or the past that you share.
It is a chance that you yourself have asked for. The chance to start from zero and not be held up to the expectations and disappointments of the person who came before you. (Ghosts, I think you called them.) While in the context of this blog you mention only the friends you've dealt with as being in need of a 'review', what eventually happens when you resolve to use the past to predict future events is the coloring of present or future interactions with other people because of your past.
In other words, once you and those you love and have loved deal with your past, it's time to start over. Let the future work itself out. "Sufficient to tomorrow are the troubles thereof." Don't try to predict tomorrow's troubles using yesterday's. LIVE, T.
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