Wrestlemania 19

"The tongue has the power of life and death, those who love it will eat its fruit"

~Proverbs 18:21(TNIV)

Recently, while working on my "Faith and paradigms" piece, I went and looked at some of my writings from April from last year. Now if you know me or have been following this blog for any length of time, then you know I am probably the most introspective cat you know. Thus, I was curious to see if I evolved at all; I wanted to walk through time and look at my mental during this trying period. I always said that was the major purpose for writing so much then, to document history and have a real time record of the challenges I was going through. I didn't go through the entire spectrum mind you, but rather I concentrated my retrospective on the first month, April, when all that began.

In what could be considered pure creative genius (or sheer desperation and lunacy) I clocked an amazing 29 blogs for that month. 29 blogs out of 30 days. Think about it: 29 straight blogs about a love lost, the struggles of healing, trying to find faith, seeking understanding, and all kinds of depressing stuff. Don't get me wrong, those works were brilliant, they were honest, at times snarky and funny as they were soul wrenching, but still they just showed a side of me in pain that I don't think anybody has ever seen before.

Last year, when I was discussing my heart and fortitude I compared myself to the great (and sadly now retired) HBK Shawn Michaels. I said that moment in time was my Wrestlemania 14. To quickly recap, Wrestlemania 14 was the last match HBK had before he left (at the time we thought for good) to have back surgery. He performed his behind off in that match and he did it hurt, he did it even though he was emotionally spent, and he did it because he was a true champion.

Likewise, as hard as I fell, as hurt as I was I endured and kept going. April was my very own Wrestlemania 14, the moment when I thought I was broken for good and headed towards retirement way ahead of schedule.

With this in mind imagine our surprise in the summer of 2002 when Shawn Michaels returned to the ring at Summerslam. It was like he didn't lose a step. He came back and performed at a level that rivaled and surpassed where he was when he left. More importantly, he came back with a sense of maturity and sense of peace that could only be described as inspirational.

Even more inspirational than his Summerslam match was his classic five-star match with Chris Jericho at Wrestlemania 19. This match erased any lingering doubts that HBK had not only returned, he returned better than before. If you haven't seen this match or don't know what the heck I'm rambling about I've left the link here.

Of course *sexy smile* this moment, this resurrection and return, is my Summerslam. It is my time to return to life better, stronger and wiser when I left. It is my time to come back to what I love, those I love, doing what I love and show my growth as a man, faith as Christian, and skills as a writer.

I know what you're thinking: "Big talk mofo. Sure you say you found your faith again, sure claim you got that swag back, sure you are declaring you back on you square but this is all talk. Do something to make us believe negro!"

You know snarky mofo's you gotta point. I do need to do something big. I gotta do something to prove to you guys that I am really serious.

What I am about to undertake will be my Wrestlemania 19. It will be show and prove that I am back, better than ever with my God giving me the strength to do this and all things. I am going to match my April output in writing with a twist: I am not going to write about anything somber, depressing, relating to heartbreak, meetings with the devil, or any other form of that I did during last year. I am going to show and prove once and forever that not only can I write when I am happy and feelin' fine, I am going to show and prove that I am connected to my Lord and Savior (who is for ever praised AMEN) and I am drawing on his energy for new creative inspiration.

Don't get it twisted I am not claiming to be a holy roller or Jesus freak or anything like that. This blog won't become blogspot's 700 club. I am just hella excited about re-connecting with my faith and being back on good terms with my God. I'm occasionally drop some sad/oh wow/make you wanna cry gem. OK, maybe a little more than occasionally. You can never really get rid of the classics.

Except this month. This month I am going to show that if I can function in the darkness I can function and want to function in the light. I understand now what Donald Lawrence (taken from Proverbs 18:21) was speaking when he sung: "One Word Away..the power of life and death is in what you say!" I didn't understand this in the midst of last year.

I understand that now. Last April I spent so much time with my head low in April shows. This year I am going to out stretch my arms and dance with faith feet in the rain.

I will have my Wrestlemania 19.

I hope you enjoy this ride.

In Truth and Transparency,

Straight, No Chaser
TLT
4-07-2010
3:11pm