"Man I gotta get my soul right"~ Jay Z
It's 69 degrees and the wind is blowing perfectly from the east. Each slight breeze is a gentle massage on my skin. Anybody who knows me knows I love weather like this; the perfect 69 degrees reminds me of Nashville and when time was simpler and with a small pang of guilt life in the B.C. era.
I stood in the park enjoying the late night breeze, mediating on the weeks events; completing the meaning and struggling to find balance. Of course this moment towards balance was complicated by the swigs of Effen Black Cherry I was taking. Still the slight buzz and breeze continued to take over my body and relax my tight muscles. I was able to see the world, without time, and attempt to make sense out of my life.
As I stood there humming the lyrics to People Get Ready by Curtis Mayfield, the breeze that had so relaxed me stopped; in its place a gust of heat that seemed to turn this quiet night into a 99 degree day. Without missing a sip I turned and saw him walking towards me, each step a perfect stride, sporting a cream polo, blazer and jeans, and hair faded to the 9's. Par the course, he was the perfect mirror image to my current ragged state. I took another swig of vodka and tried to, as humanly possible, prepare myself for tonight's encounter.
"Good Evening Mr. Thomas" he said in an all to familiar voice, her voice, each step pronounced by the sounds of his feet hitting the pavement.
I don't speak. I take another swig of vodka.
He walks right up and stands next to me.
"The camp of a defeated army. Boy I never get tired of this scene. It's something poetically funny about seeing the hopes and dreams of people so determined smashed into bits don't you agree?"
I still don't respond. Instead I take another sip.
He points at the flask and laughs. "No Seagram's Apple tonight? Man a nigga get a job and now he wanna buy Effen, bougie muthafucka".
I still don't respond.
"Guess who I saw tonight? Heh she was looking good. Smelled good too. He got to be hitting that good and raw. I wonder if he stares with the same intensity..."
He is cut off by my sloppy swing. The first one grazes him, but the second is easily deflected as he blocks my arm and kicks my left leg out.
"Liquid Courage has been the downfall of many men. Don't let it be yours. Now pick yourself up. Somebody walks by and they'll see a drunk man in the grass." He extends his hand to help me up. "Let's play nice tonight Mr. Thomas." Every time he fucking says that I wanna scream but I don't let it show on my face.
Shaking off his punch and struggling for breath I finally speak to him.
"You're interrupting my meditations" I say as I finally take his hand and come to my feet.
"Meditations? Who? You? LOL. Ha Com.e.dy. Mr. Thomas you don't mediate. You brood. If you truly were meditating you would have discerned the answer by now."
"I'm so not in the mood for you."
"Why is that? You deal with strangers on your blog. What makes me different. At least you can see me."
"Can we get to the point? Does my "test" start now?
He laughs and it is a deep soul moving laugh. "No, I've changed my mind. No test for you."
"Interesting and why is that?"
"Simply you're not broken enough. I need you a lil more dilapidated than this."
I make a face and look at him "It doesn't get worse than this."
"Man, you don't know how bad it's going to get".
I walk right up to his face and tell him "Fuck you."
"Oh you mean like..." his words drift off. "You ALWAYS set yourself up for that."
"I heard you're a liar" and I turn and walk away.
He chuckles. "Stop talking to baptists. They'll steer you always steer you wrong."
He is beside me again, moving as if he teleported.
"Look Mr. Thomas, I got a deal for you. A better deal. Even you wont be able to say no to this one".
Sighing frustratedly and in a mocking tone I respond "Do an act of worship to me and all the kingdoms will be mine right?" For the first time in any of our encounters I laugh at HIM. I turn to keep walking.
His face gives away his annoyance. "Even better."
I keep walking.
"What could a man do with a 72 hr advance notice? Better yet Mr. Thomas what would you DO with a 72 hr advance notice" he asks curiously.
My stride slows and then stops. I turn around to face him. I am now feeling the full effects of the vodka and the world is blurry and unstable. The only thing I can see clearly is him.
"I could do miracles and prevent disasters with that kind of head start"
He pulls out his golden apple and takes a bite.
"I know. 72 hrs. That's a big lead"
My feet begin to move and I don't know why; he was away but now in this blurry world he's the only thing that is clear, close and not moving in circles.
"So what are you saying?" I ask my voice no longer strong, the whine I've come to hate returning...
"I am saying to give me what I want and when you wake up it will be April 2nd."
"2009?"
"Yes April 1st 2009. And the only trick will be you will know what is gonna happen...up until April 5. I'm offering you a reboot, a do over, and a cheat sheet"
I try to swallow and the lump in my throat hurts. I take a swig of vodka and there is no more. Did he just offer me a do over? A chance to prevent it all? I pull out BH2, hoping for a sign. My phone is dead.
Smirking he says "Oh I turned that off. I don't want us to be interrupted. What were you looking for Mr. Thomas? A sign? From him? You've done it his way. And what did you get? What have you gotten? Some other man fucking your wife? Ridicule? I'm offering you a fucking do over and you're standing there looking dofus like. Take the fucking deal Terrance. He tilts his head. If not for you do it for the boys." As he finishes his smirk turns into a full smile.
I feel the tears flowing from my eyes, I feel the hurt inside and I feel it all overwhelming me. My chest wants to explode, my head hurts and my right hand is extending.
I do what until that moment is unthinkable. I give him my right hand. I take the apple from him.
He takes my hand and it burns as I grasp his. The pain is a necessary side effect "No tricks?" I ask.
"None. When you open your eyes it will be April 2nd and you'll have all the knowledge you need."
I nod.
"Now you need to kneel".
I feel my legs giving out and my body going heavy. This is wrong, but right, its necessary. I've done it right and got nothing. Why not try him I reason?
Suddenly he turns and looks. His face blazing with anger. He lets my hand go and I notice he expression isn't anger but fear. Something has made afraid.
"We finish this later."
And then he is gone....
I stand in the park unsure of how to feel. He had me. He won. Why did he let me go. What MADE him let me go.
I decide its finally time to go home. I'm standing in the middle of a park on 79th drunk and that is a sure "get your ass locked up" combination.
I stumble across to the bus stop and there is an elderly sister I assume is one of the many hobo's riding the 79th street bus at 3am. I speak politely so she won't think I'm a threat and mess around and mace me or something, thereby making my crazy night worse.
"Good evening ma'am"
She smiles and speaks in a peaceful almost southern tone
"Hi baby." As if she's studying me, she asks "you OK? its to late for you to be out. Your wife is gonna be mad if something happens to you. Ain't nothing out this late but trouble"
"I don't have a wife, not any more at least" I say. Then I add "I'm already in trouble"
She nods "Yeah that's why I screamed for that man you was fighting and arguing with to leave you alone. He looked like he was gonna hurt you"
Now my face is puzzled. "What man?" I ask trying to be coy
"That evil man over there. Had I not said something he surely was gonna hurt you."
Suddenly my buzz is gone. Now I am wondering if ......
She walks up and touches my face. "Mr. Thomas, Mr. Thomas I know this is hard. I know this hurts but it is going to be better. You're not forgotten, disliked, hated and you ARE LOVED and thought about. Do not believe his lies.
She turns and begins to walk away. "Your soul depends on you remembering this. Baby the Duel of Fates is real"
I stand there stunned and in amazement. "Thank you" I say now tearful again.
She smiles. "You're welcome baby. One more thing. Have you discerned how he gets to you? Have you figured out what gives him the in path?"
"Thinking about her?"
"No. Your thoughts are love. He uses that as the red herring. When you discern how he gets to you, then you'll stop leaving him that opening."
She walks away and I lose her in the darkness....
Suddenly my phone buzzes and I get a text message. It's an old message but now it's in my new file.
"Mr. Thomas only Jehovah truly knows."
I shake my head when I realize that I was saved by an angel. I was about to yield and I was had to be saved.
That doesn't make me feel to good.
I go home and go to bed. I hold my young son as I try to make sense of tonight's events and how I was about to, had given in only to be saved. This will fuck with me for a while...this situation will fuck with me for a while. Man I gotta get my soul right...before I mess up my WHOLE life.
I need to figure out his in....
And prepare for the next encounter
The Duel of Fates Rages on.........
Straight, No Chaser
TLT
9-1-2009
5:30am
No comments:
Post a Comment