"That blog of yours is going to get you killed"~A Close Friend
I wasn't going to post today because I just got Batman:Arkham Asylum for the Xbox360 (a game which just might be game of the year) and as a LIFELONG Batman fan I have waited my whole life for a game on the Dark Knight Detective that didn't suck ass. I mean Lego Batman was hot, but c'mon it was Lego. Batman Begins was good too, but a tad bit repetitive. It damn sure aint the asscrap that was Batman: Dark Tomorrow or Batman and Robin. This joint was crafted with the help of Jehovah himself and made to make men like me stay in the house and give up drinking. I mean look at this shit right here fam...
Or this shit right here...man this is a damn turn on...
Hm-mm I think I'm going to write a review on the game and the philosophy of Batman. That might be my next piece.
But I aint writing this morning to tell you how this game has made me just as happy as BH2. I mean did my first midnight release party thingy and stayed up till fucking 5:00am kicking arse and I still aint make it to the Batcave. Gawd.....that game rules.
OK let me get back on task and why I am writing..
I wanted to say "Thank you" to all my snarky mofo readers, fans, heathens, and folks who wish this blog would just die.
It's funny how the path of life takes you; despite the challenges and regrets I have truly enjoyed the ride. It seems that just when I think I've seen it all I learn something new.
So..to learn that my lil blog is used in a classroom and dissected by shrinks and shit is kinda sexy, even if the critiques are at times not. Still though it moves me that much closer to writing my book, making my money and then retiring to my mountain.
I had no idea when I hit "publish post" on the "On Thy Honor" blog that I would open up such an academic dialog. I appreciate the support. I appreciate the votes of confidence. I even appreciate the disses, as it makes me think harder and stronger. Straight, No Chaser is my baby; a written testament to where I am in life. I regret I didn't do this during the "Longest Night", I hate that I destroyed the documentation of the "Second Renaissance"and I am still pissy that my pen drive died and with it all of the blogs from "A Death in the Family". Those where periods that defined me, helped mold me and brought me to this point. I made a promise that good, bad or ugly I would document the Love Supreme (Crisis) as a testament and I guide of how a simple, but highly intelligent brother has navigated the trials of life, love, friendship, failures, victories and visions. This blog has been as I said before, is a written testament of my never ending struggle to find mental (which entails spiritual and emotional) perfection or at the very least close to it. I have beaten so many enemies, really I have no more battles left at this stage. The only one left is the Duel of Fates; freedom or slavery, life or death.
But anywho I love the banter I have, I didn't know I had so many readers, many who refuse to leave comments but hit me privately some offering praise others reading me the riot act and of course my favorites are my ex gf's or bootycalls or whatever cussing.
I am going on too long so let me hurry up. Yesterday took my love of this blog to another level and although my snarky intellectual equals refuse to identify themselves, they have shown a level of brilliance that I wasn't expecting from (im)poster's. It also made me smile. Again having your shit dissected in any form of academia is one helluva confidence booster and damn sho feels good.
The best decision I made this year was not shutting my blog down.
Real quickly a few housekeeping points from the last piece as I think it's easier to post here than in the comment section:
First let me say I appreciate this academic dialog. I really do. However, I want to stress a few points to bring the topic back full circle:
- First, the purpose of the piece "On Thy Honor" is not to discuss Wei Yan or where she stands; that was included in the interest of fairness, meaning that while my peeps said I by no means was a fake, fake(r), phony or anything else, I have made some mistakes and all cited that as reason number 1. I don't want to lose focus of that. There are other measures of my integrity and sanity and I think its important to expand it beyond the context of Generals vs Queens.
- Since Wei Yan has been made the topic, I will say this: She knows what happened and why she was deactivated. It was her actions first and foremost, followed by the other two factors that helped support my decision. At this point and time, while I appreciate the intellectual banter, praise, critiques, and psych evaluations the decision regarding the Ret.Gen is final at this point and time; yet as the great soror/sage once said "I reserve the right to change my mind." Yes, she did a find deed. Yes I have zeroed out her account, but let me stress again anything else I do, considering our very (potentially) toxic dynamic is morally praiseworthy but NOT morally obligatory.
- I believe the true measure of wisdom is knowing when to take it, esp during times of crisis. In that sense BFL09 has known me for decades and I believe they are an excellent gauge of how I would react all things equal and will remind me of that. The same applies to my family, esp my mother and brother Zhang Fei. As much as it is great to take your own counsel sometimes you gotta get over yourself and head the words of the villagers.
- I will address this once more and for all times: I am renewing my fight, however with boundaries this time, to fix my relationship/friendship with (the)Queen because I believe in my heart I am right. I believe my assessment of the situation is right on and I would forever have questions if I didn't try one mo' gin, win lose or draw. And just like the topic of Wei Yan while I welcome it in terms of academic, intellectual and mental dialogue its a safe bet to assume I'm go one more again. I am not going to run from this or hide or pretend it aint real. I have been nor will I ever be a coward and not to attempt ONE more run would in my eyes make me an emotional coward.
- ....But even in that renewed struggle, I have a line of demarcation I will stick to.
Aight I need to get back to "work" so I can leave early and get back to my Batman game.
I just felt compelled to say unto you all...
Thank you so fucking much
Straight, No Chaser
8-25-2009
11:00am
*Author's Note: I had to clean this up because in my rush to get back to my game, I had many incomplete thoughts. I apologize for the ex post edit job.
~TLT
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