Hump Day Blues......

It's Hump Day.

I have the blues.

It's raining.

My work contract still hasn't been renewed.

The Joker keeps mocking me on that game

Oh and did I mention it's raining?

I've come to hate the rain now

It used to be a sign of beautiful things

But now each drop serves as a reminder of this battle...this...on.going.struggle.to.be.heard

Fairly...

The Joker keeps mocking me cause I cant find Dr.Young. Sick bastard.

The stress of not knowing if I will be kept or not.

Why cant people, personal and professional, answer in a timely manner.

Bills wont wait till September 30th

And it won't stop raining.

Mother nature is an evil bitch. She probably laughs too...

Did I mention my blog was a source of contention

Got an email from an upset ex...whatever..not woman, tired of my words.

Yet my words keep the bottle out of my hand; keep my eyes dry

Oh that's right TLT aint supposed to be hurt.

I guess my words bring the pain that is difficult

Or repressed

or complex

Or intense

or passionate

Or ignored

to the surface.

Cute.

But since the night, all I've had was this pen...

it frees my mind...keeps "him" away and the voices silent.

The pen..got me through the Night when Nicole broke up our potential family for a high school love

The pen...got me through the confusion of the Second Renaissance when Soror/Sage had enough

and had to move on...while I healed

The pen...is getting me through the crisis when the one I so love

doesn't think so

or understand so

or believe so

The pen is with me on the ocean, in those lonely nights, when voices are there...

And I am half crazy....

The pen has helped my broken wings, become Beautiful wings...

even when I gotta fill out my prescription....

The pen reminds me when I forget

We're not in love anymore..

Or we're not speaking on it.

The pen has helped me with Generals

Who rebel

Who are hurt

Who can't heal

and rightfully so.....

The Pen encourages me to fight even as I tell others not to fight

Or when people tell me my fight is fruitless...

or to leave her/it/that alone

that all under heaven can't be obtained

to

But the pen is stronger than the sword..

It protects my heart from the cold world

The pen keeps me from ninja kicking my boss

When he talks out of body at me like I am 5

And comforts me as I weep at night

Ooops I said cry. The Prime Minister doesn't weep

But TLT does

And hard

And ugly

I want to weep now

But can't weep in front of CHA kids

I'll lose their respect

Or maybe earn more

At least it stopped raining.

But I shouldn't hate the rain.

Ruffin said rain drops will hide my teardrops

Then maybe I should go outside and cry

And Scream and Shout

And ask Jehovah for help...

But no I pick up the Pen...

And I write, as I have always done

Straight, No Chaser
TLT
8-26-2009
9:56am

*posted at 3:03pm...thanks rough day*