In the middle of the Night.....

Couldn't sleep so I thought I'd write.....

Heirs to the throne:

I gotta thank Jehovah for my children. I mean they truly inspire me and motivate me. After the Saturday I had, I just wanted to lay in bed and well I wrote how I felt and wont sully this blog with those thoughts. It's amazing that no matter how down I get Snarky Pre Teen and Wild Child are there to pick me up and encourage me. You combine that with the wisdom that is my Queen Mother Tony and it is very had to stay in a dark place. I managed to get out a smile or two, I even managed to eat a bite with my fluctuating appetite. I truly love my suns, my sons, my heirs, my legacy my polar opposites. Sometimes, while asking where would I be if...I need to remind myself that life with them is a never ending blessing. I don't want them to use their young energy to restore me all the time, but I ain't gonna lie days like yesterday was a welcome jolt.

Thanks Guys....


Who Do I write for...

A comment was left on my blog asking if I write for attention or if I write hoping she's reading. Well I guess the answer is in an albeit snarky manner is yes I write for attention and yes I hope she's reading and no I don't write for attention and I hope she's isn't reading.. Confused? I figured you would be. Let me explain. I'm a blogger, so by definition I want people to read what I write, I have what I believe to be insight on the notion and institution of Black love and want to share with all you people who may or may not be reading. But even if nobody does read this or stops reading this blogging is a very therapeutic release for me. 9 times out of 10, I feel a helluva lot better once I finish blogging. In terms of her, well yes I hope she reads. Since we're not speaking and I seem to always say something overly emotional or gay when we talk I think the blog is, as of right now, the best insight into my mind. This blog is an insight in to my heart, mind, conscious and soul. But at the same time its not a propaganda tool, and I'd rather she not read often or any of my other "subjects" because the Hawthorne Effect is real and when you know people are watching you tend to say and do the right thing in order to achieve a goal. Straight, No Chaser is not a political tool, nor a propaganda item. It's my free therapy and I will do whatever to keep it that way. Speaking of her...

She really don't love you, let her go...

I hear this often and honestly I need to stop letting folks tell me that. I am a firm believer that love is not created overnight, nor can it be destroyed. So while we aren't talking, while my imagination is running wild over here on the South Side, I can't honestly say she don't still love a negro to death. This ain't about love but...about...honestly...I ain't figured that part out. I am going to have to be very careful who I accept council from because the last two times I've listened to this hearsay I've gotten in trouble big time (the situation with Nickjack and the situation with W.Y.). Sometimes you gotta follow your gut and my gut tells me......
well never mind that snarky mofo reading this. Now if I can only get my ADD under control long enough to fix...whatever...I don't know it's 3 in the am.

Just get over it...

Another of my recent favorites and it took an old (new) friend to remind me that our spirits and emotions react to things differently. I could be more positive, less dramatic and listen more but these "minor" flaws do not negate the validity of my emotions and anybody who minimizes how I feel and the pain I'm in now really ain't down for me. I'll keep that in mind...

Technology

I FINALLY MASTERING BLOGGING FROM THE BLACKBERRY. It's linked together. So now I can stop using voice recorder and napkins to jot down ideas. Man you gotta love technology.

OK, my cocoa just kicked in. I'm lay it down again.

Nite Blogspot

Straight, No Chaser
TLT
5-11-2009
3:45am