Document THIS PT. 2: Crime and Punishment in Black Love

You just stubborn for no reason~Tony Thomas

"Your Eyes Can Deceive You. Don't trust them." ~ Obi Wan Kenobi.

You know snarky mofo reading this I am a funny creature (as you no doubt have gathered from my blog). I have no qualms fighting to prove my love or loyalty, but on the other hand I refuse to prove my innocence when falsely accused, esp by loved ones. My rationale is simple: if you love me the way you say you do, and vice versa then we should have discernment in what each others skill set happens to be. For example if someone told me my mother was in a church talking about God, I'd know they would be lying heathens because my mother is a devout Jehovah's Witness and that is just friggin impossible. Or if someone told me Mr.Allen (The Emperor) was with a white woman I'd laugh or punch them in the mouth, most likely both as that possibility is just impossible.

Ok, so nothing is impossible. Agreed. However, there are some events so far to the left and right that they might as well be impossible. I mean some clan of ninjas might invite me to train and learn their secret art, but really what is the probability of that happening? Something like 0.00000000001 percent? With odds like that, with a percentage change that low it might as well be impossible. Understanding this when dealing with loved ones is really key to building dynamics and maintaining relationships.

But to understand this concept requires an element of discernment, which requires faith/trust. Of course faith/trust requires accurate knowledge (thanks Tony) .

So when my loved ones accuse me of something horrid, I generally don't respond. I sit back and hope discernment kicks because if you are a loved one of mine then I know you and I have gone through the motions of growth and development. It is expected and demanded that you have this understanding. I concede that you truly can't know EVERYTHING about a person, but there are somethings that should be beyond question, beyond reproach.

For me my loved should know two things: I don't condone and never would engage in child abuse, sexual or otherwise. This included dating under age gals or chicks clearly too young for me, even if they are legal.

The second is domestic violence. I have never in my life hit, forced myself on, or tortured a woman. Period.dot.End of friggin story.

These truths are not negotiable.

Regardless of what some jaded, lifeless high school chick says.

I am not going to spend time going into a pontification about this. My record speaks for itself. Anybody claim otherwise either don't know me or is lying, probably both. But I will discuss is the reasons why we dont use this important skill; what I will explore is why we still convict loved ones when the evidence and their record state the opposite of what we think they've done.

As I recently discussed on my blog on "Big Negroes" a loved one, one of THE loved ones in fact thought I was going to do her harm, and this just hurts. I mean I conceding showing up unannounced was bad form, very bad esp after an emotional exchange. But I also believe firmly that discernment should have ruled the day, hers should have kicked when mine failed. I realized how it looked, but we are often counseled tobelieve none of what you hear and only half of what you see.

Honestly, and I am not making excuses just exploring, where my eyes filled with rage or sadness? Have I ever demonstrated rage for that to be seen? Or where they red and puffy from crying all night? It reminds me of my dad whose cry and laugh were so similar it was spooky. It took a whole lot of discernment to know the difference.

Obi wan Kenobi once said " your eyes can deceive you don't trust them."

By no means am I belittling her fears and concerns. I am eating that. What I am saying is I know what was in MY heart and in my emotions and at that moment nothing was rolling. A brother was strictly in a "ain't to proud to beg mode."

The is a notion that states: If you eliminate the impossible, whatever is left no matter how improbable is the truth.

In this context, considering the two truths of Terrance means that harming her or the young sun was impossible, unless they became part of some devil worshiping cult who wants to eat the heart of left handed big dudes.

Aint gonna happen? Right so harm was impossible.

So as improbable as it may seem I did come over there to beg. I am guilty of bad etiquette, not plotting some heinous act.

In spite of this logic and discernment however, my reasons are rejected. I do think anger and hurt have clouded judgment; I do think that in this context the worse is expected and its a lot easier to indite and convict rather than call it a gross mis-communication. Its sad as it is unfair. Part of me feels this was a latent fear brought on by our conversations about my mild depression, a fear that waited to come to the surface at the slightest push...

A wound that never quite healed if you will.

The other part of it is that niggraz are just being stubborn and honestly hearing what they want to hear. I know the creature. She is HARD headed. She is just a determined as me, and if for no other reason than to teach a negro a lesson because I kept foxin with her she's not hearing me.

She, is as my mother would say, is "Being stubborn for no reason"



It's like that in Black Love, much like crime and punishment. I've been guilty of it. We take something and milk it to death. I confess I don't know why this is; I guess it gives us the moral high ground. But what purpose does that serve? I've made a mistake, Black Jesus knows I am paying and it shouldn't be compounded to make me seem like Ike Simpson.

For the record my eyes are still beautiful even if they were filled with rage. But they werent. Maybe tears, maybe puppy doogish, but NOT rage.

Back to the matter. There is an old saying that goes something like "Who you gone believe me or your lying eyes?"

On the surface it seems to be such a smart statement, but under the microscope it falls short. The hand is quicker than the eye; appearances can be misleading and sometimes...our vision is clouded.

This is true during moments of sadness
Stress
anger
fear
exhaustion

etc..

Obi Wan and my mother Tony are both correct. You cant trust you're eyes because you stubborn for no reason.....

And that is why you're beautiful....

:)

The Defense rests.



Straight, No Chaser
TLT
4-8-2009
12:01