"You slighted Jah by not seeking his guidance in the first place"
~Ishmariablanca
~Ishmariablanca
Yesterday, I entered into a conversation with my friend about how the memorial and the subsequent events of Thursday reminded me that it was not God that left me, but rather I left him and how I wanted to heal that rift between my creator and myself. She remained me that it required no grand plan to think of, just simply ask, change (or try to change) my ways and he will respond.
I continued the dialog with my mother, who while can be a bit overbearing about the conversation concerning God, did query how I could be so "stiff necked" as to not seek him in things that matter to me. She pointed out how Queen and I should have been came to the Hall if that is what we were trying to build, a family, because it starts with Jah and then works backwards. We don't start with us then find him. She offered the cliched but infallible argument of a foundation: did we wish to build it on a rock mass with strong materials to survive the storms or did we wish to build a shack that could barely stand the rain.
Damn, what does that make the score?
Tony 1,243,561, Terrance 10.
I remember seeing a movie back in January called "Not Easily Broken"; ironically it was a movie she and I were supposed to see, but somehow ended up not going. I really wish we had gone. I suck at movie reviews but basically it's about a young Black couple who go through trials and tribulations as they begin to focus on all the things, pursue all goals, and listen to all the wrong people as opposed to doing what needs to be done: drawing close to each other and growing with God. The title comes from the scripture found at Ecclesiastes 4:12. That scripture reads:
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
*pause*
Maybe Ms J or Ishamaria or one of yall will write a review. I'm a social critic and political scientist NOT Roger Ebert damn it.
*play*
Not unlike those Tyler Perry "shitcoms" and "movies"; T.D. Jakes really had a point. Its wasn't all the man's fault (i.e. Tyler) or all the woman's fault (modern hip hop culture) , but rather they both had equal blame in the potential demise of their relationship. Instead of seeking Jah's wisdom, she asked her old bitter snarky mama. Instead of building with his wife, he built with another woman.
Luckily, and with an ending that made me tear up they figured it out, got back together, ate chicken, had sex, and raised a family all with Jah's blessing.
Heh..good shit. Almost made me cry. OK I did cry when I got home.
Contrary to my public persona and my advance degree in snarkology I DO love happy endings.
Ok...I went off on a tangent. But as I was saying, it made me realize that WHEN we do come back we're going to get that third cord. I accept we're both heathens and the mere thought of it (going into a house of worship) probably burns us up (literally) but for it to work we need the creator of worlds. We need the source.
Honestly, I need the source for a lot of things, not just her or any relationship . A son approaching teenage years, guidance in making my moves and favor so I can start teaching. I think by him answering my prayer Thursday or at the very least revealing to me the truth was his way of giving me a sign I often craved. I need him.
For years I was advised by people more spiritual than myself to return to my roots and start my walk from there. I think I'm going to try that again, albeit slowly and without much snark.
It is amazing when I sit back and think about it; the things that I have craved the most: family and a teaching career, have been pursued (for the most part) without spiritual guidance. I know me and W.Y. used to debate over how much spirituality one needed, but I realize for all my dabbling in politico thought, I mere avoided the spiritual because I was truly afraid of that mirror. Yes, I've faced the man in the mirror, had a test of the spirit, but I've never tested my spirituality.
Big difference.
So tomorrow, I'll attend the special talk and try to go to all the meetings there after. I need to slowly rebuild my spiritual strength. There are things I want in this world and quite honestly only Jah can provide them.
Indeed..its time for less Zhuge, wait. That's not correct. I've been thinking more Niccolò Machiavelli like than Zhuge. No its time for less Machiavelli and more Jah.
Maybe then my peace can last a little longer.
Straight, No Chaser
TLT
4-11-2009
8:36am
I continued the dialog with my mother, who while can be a bit overbearing about the conversation concerning God, did query how I could be so "stiff necked" as to not seek him in things that matter to me. She pointed out how Queen and I should have been came to the Hall if that is what we were trying to build, a family, because it starts with Jah and then works backwards. We don't start with us then find him. She offered the cliched but infallible argument of a foundation: did we wish to build it on a rock mass with strong materials to survive the storms or did we wish to build a shack that could barely stand the rain.
Damn, what does that make the score?
Tony 1,243,561, Terrance 10.
I remember seeing a movie back in January called "Not Easily Broken"; ironically it was a movie she and I were supposed to see, but somehow ended up not going. I really wish we had gone. I suck at movie reviews but basically it's about a young Black couple who go through trials and tribulations as they begin to focus on all the things, pursue all goals, and listen to all the wrong people as opposed to doing what needs to be done: drawing close to each other and growing with God. The title comes from the scripture found at Ecclesiastes 4:12. That scripture reads:
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
This can be applied to a number of situations, in the context of the movie it was speaking of marriages. When properly applied to marriages it simply means that the husband and wife make up the first two cords and God needs to be the third cord which of course then makes the whole thing "not easily broken". Interesting formula for marriages and relationships seeking to become marriages. Seek comfort and strengthen in each other, then that unit seek comfort, strengthen and wisdom in God.
Heh. Gotta love Jah.
Heh. Gotta love Jah.
*pause*
Maybe Ms J or Ishamaria or one of yall will write a review. I'm a social critic and political scientist NOT Roger Ebert damn it.
*play*
Not unlike those Tyler Perry "shitcoms" and "movies"; T.D. Jakes really had a point. Its wasn't all the man's fault (i.e. Tyler) or all the woman's fault (modern hip hop culture) , but rather they both had equal blame in the potential demise of their relationship. Instead of seeking Jah's wisdom, she asked her old bitter snarky mama. Instead of building with his wife, he built with another woman.
Luckily, and with an ending that made me tear up they figured it out, got back together, ate chicken, had sex, and raised a family all with Jah's blessing.
Heh..good shit. Almost made me cry. OK I did cry when I got home.
Contrary to my public persona and my advance degree in snarkology I DO love happy endings.
Ok...I went off on a tangent. But as I was saying, it made me realize that WHEN we do come back we're going to get that third cord. I accept we're both heathens and the mere thought of it (going into a house of worship) probably burns us up (literally) but for it to work we need the creator of worlds. We need the source.
Honestly, I need the source for a lot of things, not just her or any relationship . A son approaching teenage years, guidance in making my moves and favor so I can start teaching. I think by him answering my prayer Thursday or at the very least revealing to me the truth was his way of giving me a sign I often craved. I need him.
For years I was advised by people more spiritual than myself to return to my roots and start my walk from there. I think I'm going to try that again, albeit slowly and without much snark.
It is amazing when I sit back and think about it; the things that I have craved the most: family and a teaching career, have been pursued (for the most part) without spiritual guidance. I know me and W.Y. used to debate over how much spirituality one needed, but I realize for all my dabbling in politico thought, I mere avoided the spiritual because I was truly afraid of that mirror. Yes, I've faced the man in the mirror, had a test of the spirit, but I've never tested my spirituality.
Big difference.
So tomorrow, I'll attend the special talk and try to go to all the meetings there after. I need to slowly rebuild my spiritual strength. There are things I want in this world and quite honestly only Jah can provide them.
Indeed..its time for less Zhuge, wait. That's not correct. I've been thinking more Niccolò Machiavelli like than Zhuge. No its time for less Machiavelli and more Jah.
Maybe then my peace can last a little longer.
Straight, No Chaser
TLT
4-11-2009
8:36am
1 comment:
I'm not Roger Ebert either dood lol but knowin me I probably will write a review *grumble*.
I'm so glad that you are channeling all this thought and energy into working on you and strengthening your foundation T.
Lil' sis is so proud *tear*
You are a good man and I pray that you'll be blessed with everything you desire. ♥
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