Heh, I'm still standing.

Good Morning blogspot and my loyal fans of snarky mofo's reading this.

SO, after reading my last two posts of yesterday I was so tempted to pull them as they were like really friggin depressing. I admit if I read those posts as a stranger I'd call 911 and tell them to come get said author. But three things stopped me. First, as I said before discernment is key when dealing with loved ones and matters of the heart. I had a moment of utter sadness and that is to be expected when I'm trying to work on self and at the same time keep the faith that things will work out. Second, is I have a strict policy of no retractions unless someone can prove to me that what I wrote/write will affect them personally or professionally (ie nickjacks request never to use her real name, W.Y.'s request not to use any name etc). So once I hit send its there and that's a rap. I cant be ashamed of my emotions nor how I felt.

But more importantly, as my pledge father said who helped me through the day, writing is my release and I should write till my heart falls out. My mother took it one step further and said she's for anything that keeps me from drinking.

*pause*
Writing hasn't keep me from drinking, but rather a lack of funds.

*play*

With all that said I'm trying to forget the events of yesterday. It was a fucked up day. End of story. This morning I woke up feeling better. I woke up smiling at the small victories in all of this and honestly the relationship my suns have is wonderful. In spite of the loneliness I do have a support system and while we may not be on the same page, they are trying. I can't say they aren't.

Fact is, I am just experiencing the ups and downs that come with a dynamic like this. I also need to accept that others may not share in my sadness or even understand it.

They may not even mourn as hard as I. Fact is I gotta deal with this.

After a good nights sleep and prayer, wake up this am and get back on my grind. Two days of moping was necessary, but unproductive.

But today, I'm try to turn it around.

*smirk*
Was that the best you had Son of the Mourning?

*grin*
You.are.whack.

Let's dance

Straight, No Chaser
TLT
4-15-2009
8:53AM