"Do this in remembrance of me"~Jesus Christ
These are the days that make me smile; the one day out of many the real victories that hold back the darkness.
In spite of the 3am lucid dream today was a good day. The sun was shining, pretty and bright; I was in a good mood.
In spite of all that's happened I am still standing. I am a Soul Survivor. I am a redeemer. This is what I do and who I am.
No vodka, despite my sincerest desire, no tears in spite of my sorrow. No nasty text messages or snarky blogs.
It was just the light.
As you all should know by now my mother is devout Jehovah's Witness. Depending on who you ask I am a latent one. I just have reconciled my need for Black Culture 24, politics and vodka with the requirements of the organization. But if I ever could I most certainly become one. I do believe that they, more than anybody else got it figured out.
With that said today was the memorial of Christ's Death. Its a once a year event that brings my family together. Due to some recent complications this year it was just the Queen mother, myself and my heirs. It was also her birthday and while she doesn't celebrate it, I can think of no other gift for her than to spend this day with her son and his heirs.
To illustrate how special this day is to me I rarely take people who aren't important. In fact in all the women I've dated only two have gone; the queen was supposed to go tonight but our recent problems..namely my tantrum last Friday cancelled her appearance. (And yes my sons complained about that too.)
In was a fulfilling experience as it reminded me that I have to some degree lost my faith where it counts and who I should have faith in both spiritually and otherwise. Like the Pharisees of old, I've grown complacent in my "intellect" and "wisdom". I forget to "seek first the kingdom and all other things will be given to you". I've forgotten faith without works is dead. I got work down pat. Faith is kinda iffy.
Its a piece that's been missing from em for a while, I do think if I had truly applied Godly principles to me and [classified] we'd be in a different place. I do believe that if I have thought more like Jehovah and less like Zhuge Liang I wont have hurt some many people and have so many enemies coming back seeking retribution.
I do miss the Hall and the people. I do. I also think my overly snarky preteens could use a good dose of religion.
It will give me something to think about tonight.
Seek first the kingdom...one helluva message.
Then as almost one cue, as almost to validate his promise I received something to make me smile and give my faith just another boost.
Its never as bad as we think, even when its bad as we think.
"Make the truth you own" the Queen mother admonishes me. In.all.things.
Tonight, while still sad by the events of this week I've truly be awaken. My sadness is passing which means my writing will trickle and stop.
Tonight for the first time in a week I smiled.
Thank you Jah...for everything.
Oh and btw, you were missed. Your presence was truly missed. Mom says you owe next year. She said you'll be around.
Nite blogspot.
Straight, No Chaser
4-9-2009
11:30pm
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