One more match....

In time all things time will reveal~ Brian McKnight

An analogy....

I hear a knock at my door...time to go ...

I walk through the locker room....nods of approval greet me.

This is it. I've trained, readied my mind and studied the tapes. I've thought and thought and thought and I cant think no more.

No more reflections or pondering. It is time...

I walk to the curtain. My music blasts...the crowd cheers.

This is what it means to be Terrance...

I walk out...and towards fate...

An Acknowledgment.....

So this is the moment of truth, where all things will be revealed and where I will finally either succeed or fail; where I either achieve my dream or have to defer it.

I once read anticipation of death is worse than death itself; I don't think that applies only to the situation of death. Waiting on a response in general can be taxing. Waiting on a response from a job

or friend

or enemy

or loved one

is so intense, so pronounced that it can cripple you. Even as I type this my hands shake because I don't know.

Sun Tzu said something to the effect of confronting the unprepared or unknown with preparation, but how do I prepare when the waiting is crippling. I do think this is where faith comes in at, but I admit I'm so low on faith its utterly ridiculous.

In less than 24 hours I will sit across from someone dear and either I will find the words or I will not; either I will or will not. Do or do not there is no try.

I sit in my room and I run through a myriad of different stratagems and strategies.

But I realize that no plot will work. No amount of scheming will work.

Either I do it or I don't. Tomorrow the light will shine or the night will come. I've accepted my fate either way.

There are those close to me who will tell me not to do it, to walk away and forget.

There are those who will question me and my desire to fight. There are those who don't understand once more into the breach.

As I often stated I may not be the smartest, or the handsomest or the richest, or even the best, but I promise you there is nobody with more determination, with more fire, with more zeal for his goals than me. I will never quit, I will not lay on my back, I will continue to claw and fight until my energy is spent. That is what I do.

But is it logical? Is it love? And what happens if my will and spirit can not match my heart?

I don't know. This will be the longest 24hrs of my life.

There are no voices to comfort me. There is only my skills and my heart.

Everything I've fought to become and trained for has been for this moment. There will be no do overs. No miscues. No excuses.

I asked for answers. Now Jah will give them.

A small smile comes across my face....one more time...

I hope my eyes have returned to normal.

God, I'm scared.

Protect me and my heart Jah.

Straight, No Chaser
TLT
4-22-2009
10:45am